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03 July 2013 @ 09:31 pm
I'm kind of sad. Bob's in the VA. He hasn't been able to sleep for 5 days. They admitted him to be able to monitor whatever meds they try. So far nothing has worked. So we haven't left for Maine. I am okay with that. I just want him to be able to sleep. This is usually a bad time of year for him. In Chickenhawk the chapter for this month is called "Tell Me You're Afraid." The flight surgeon wouldn't ground him because he wouldn't say he was afraid, even though he weighed 119 lbs and was being given valium to sleep, quite illegally. It was his last month in Vietnam when he was supposed to only fly ass and trash. He flew combat assaults up to the last day in-country. So he pays...
I love him so much. I am so glad he is alive. Whatever we have been through or will go through, he is worth it to me. But I hate that he suffers.
WPAdmirerwpadmirer on July 4th, 2013 02:33 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry Bob's having such a hard time. I send you lots of hugs and good thoughts.
patty1943patty1943 on July 4th, 2013 02:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Glad you are my friend.
asakiyumeasakiyume on July 4th, 2013 03:18 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this--is this level of sleeplessness something he's gone through before?

I hate that he suffers, too, and I hope things look up for him soon, and that together you're able to get a bit of a vacation.
patty1943patty1943 on July 4th, 2013 02:16 pm (UTC)
When he got back from Vietnam he had constant wake ups, mostly snapping about two feet straight up from the bed. I could see between him and the bed. This went on for years, but not lately.
Absolute sleeplessness is new except for the one time they tried sleeping pills back in the 60's. That kept him completely awake all night. I figure some part of his reptile brain (which does not speak English nor can it tell time) thinks he will die if he sleeps.
I know valium will help, but they are trying everything else first including some stupid pill which made his heart race...
cmcmck on July 4th, 2013 07:13 am (UTC)

Squaddies pay over and over and governments don't give a damn and it's all wrong.
patty1943patty1943 on July 4th, 2013 02:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the hugs. I need them.
wojelahwojelah on July 8th, 2013 07:00 pm (UTC)
Sending both of you good thoughts.
kiwi_storieskiwi_stories on July 18th, 2013 05:01 am (UTC)
I hear your pain, Patty. I am a neurofeedback practitioner in NZ, and the people who trained me, Seigfried and Sue Othmer, started a program called 'Homecoming for Vets' offering free neurofeedback for returning vets, even those from Vietnam and Korea. There are practitioners across the USA enrolled in this program, willing to help vets for no cost.
Most people don't know what neurofeedback is. In short, it's a way of feeding back to the brain what the brain is doing. Think biofeedback for the brain. The idea is that the brain can be taught to NOT go into the PTSD patterns, and it can be taught quickly and easily.
Here is the Homecoming for Veterans page. http://www.homecoming4veterans.org/index.html
Neurofeedback might help, it can't hurt (ever- does not induce either flashbacks or reliving the events that caused PTSD in the first place). I hope this helps you and yours.